I learned something recently about motivation. Ready for it? I bet it’ll blow your mind:
We aren’t all motivated by the same things.
I know, I know, it’s earth-shattering news. But here’s the part that really got me thinking:
All of us are basically motivated by one of two things, and those are (1) pleasure, or (2) prevention of pain. And that reminds me of when I was eighteen.
When I was eighteen, I found in dismay that the end of high school had made me a little soft. Physically, I mean. I had some pesky pounds that I wanted to get rid of, and I couldn’t seem to stick to any diet or exercise plan, so I thought of a sure way to light a fire under my feet and start shedding: I’d terrorize myself away from the kitchen and out to my treadmill on the porch.
So I found pictures of extreme cases of obesity and hung them around my room. I taped them to the fridge and pantry, along with words I’d cut out of magazines. “FAT”, “DON’T DO IT”, “NO, NO, NO”. I prominently displayed my largest-sized clothes at the front of my closet, and drew little sad faces to attach to them.
(I was eighteen, okay? My three-year-old ate a ball of playdoh the other day. Kids do weird things before they figure things out.)
Every time I went into my room or the kitchen, I was assaulted with warnings, and I fully expected to be scared straight. But would you believe it - my plan wasn’t working. Not at all. In fact, I was going to the fridge more, it seemed. I was gaining weight. In total dismay and desperation, I gathered more pictures and words of warning, and found new places in the house to put them.
Now whenever I opened my closet, or got a glass of water at midnight, or took my towel off the rack, or opened a book, or lifted the toilet lid - I’d get a jolting reminder of an unwanted future.
At this point, I have a few theories about why my plan didn’t work for me, but there’s only one we need to get into today: I was trying to motivate myself with something that is not at all motivating to me. I was trying to pump myself up with thoughts of disaster, when disaster really doesn’t elicit a rise.
And thinking about it now makes me think about your employees. Each of them is motivated by either pleasure or prevention of pain, and chances are - they don’t all light up for the same one. And if you’re only speaking to one side, you’re probably leaving a bunch of people out and diminishing your own results.
This will be kind of a longer-term thing to continuously think about and figure out, but you’ll want to learn how each of your employees is motivated, and speak the right language when you talk to him/her, so you can keep your whole team stoked to perform at their peak.
So first, just start observing. When you talk to people, and when you hear them talking, pay attention to how they word things, and even to their tone.
Let’s say Ned consistently expresses things like, “I think I’m going to trade my car in soon, before it gives me any more problems,” and “Ugh, I hope this storm doesn’t mess up my new trees,” and “I better cut down on the sugar; I don’t want to pack on any more weight this year.” Chances are, he’s motivated by avoiding pain; by keeping an undesirable outcome from happening.
And let’s say Suzy sounds like this: “I’m going to trade in my car soon - it’ll be so nice to have something reliable!”, and “I hope my new trees will get through the storm,” and I’m cutting down on the sugar; I want to get healthy this year!” She’s most likely motivated by pleasure; the outcome she does want to happen.
I’m like Suzy, myself. If at eighteen, I’d taped pictures of fitness models all over the house, and attached one to the wall in front of my treadmill with a sign that said, “THIS CAN BE YOU!!” - I probably would have been so busy charging down my dream, that I wouldn’t have remembered we had a refrigerator. …But I didn’t know this about myself back then. And I can remember times in jobs where my boss didn’t realize this about me either, and would try to scare me into action.
“If we don’t get this contract, it’s gonna be a real tough ride the rest of the year.”
“We need to keep this project from losing any more money, or there won’t be any profits left for bonuses.”
“If you can’t make more calls during your shifts, you’re not going to have job security here.”
I hear the words, and I mean - it’s serious; I get it. But it just doesn’t light me up. Ned would leap at that kind of talk though, and that’s why you can’t just say it once, in one way.
For your pleasure-people, use language that pumps them up about what’s possible; what the reward is; what bright, shining outcome is just ready and waiting if they do certain things and push through this part. Tell them how great it will be for them, you and everyone there if you all win the contract, or wow this client, or come in with profits to spare.
For the people who are motivated by keeping pain away, get them all rallying for your cause by explaining the hurdles you’re trying to get through, and the potential consequences you’re trying to avoid, and ask for their help in protecting everyone there from those.
When you’ve got everyone together in a meeting, and you’re trying to motivate them all to embrace a procedure change, or get behind a new system, or launch forward on your focus for the quarter, speak to both sides and cover all your bases. Tell them how wonderful this will be for everyone, and paint a picture of all the great things that will come out of it. And explain the challenges, and the negative things you’re trying to avoid, and ask for their help in preventing those.
This whole subject has me thinking about my kids and how often I try to get them moving on my objective by speaking to both of them the same way.
“If you don’t get in the car now, we won’t go to the park.”
“If you brush your teeth now, I’ll let you stay up a little later.”
“If you color the floor again, no crayons ever.”
I usually choose one side of it and stick to that. Sometimes it just feels like there’s no time or fuel in me to think of everything constantly. But when I do that, one person starts cooperating, and the other keeps running for a puddle, or rolling on the bathmat, or sketching on the tile, and each kid’s response varies with the method I choose.
You want everyone motivated, at the same time. I think if you take the extra time for this, you’ll avoid a scenario where half the room is detached during your locker room speech. I think speaking to each person’s style this way will help everyone there to feel connected to, inspired by, and motivated about your call to action. I think you’ll love the results.
-From the book, As Its People: A 90-Day Challenge, p.181 Available in paperback or Kindle HERE.